UPSC Aspirants Trapped Between Ambition and Anxiety in a Silent System

UPSC Aspirants: Tragic Suicides, Mental Health Crisis, and a Deafening System

Last Saturday brought troubling news that deeply impacted the community of UPSC aspirants. A young man preparing for the exam took his own life in his rented room in Delhi's Old Rajender Nagar area. The building consists of seven small individual rooms, each rented by students focused on the same goal. Authorities confirmed the identity of the 25-year-old as Tarun Thakur, who included a note stating that he alone bore responsibility for his decision.

He was discovered suspended from the ceiling fan using a bedsheet. Originally from Jammu, his absence became apparent when his father tried reaching him by phone that morning without success. The father then informed the landlord, who entered via a neighbouring room's shared balcony and spotted him through the locked door. The landlord quickly notified the police. A detailed nine-page note was recovered from the scene.

Such incidents have occurred before among other UPSC aspirants. In May 2025, a 25-year-old woman named Asha Uikey from Indore in Madhya Pradesh chose to end her life. She left a lengthy 20-page letter that included inspiring sayings and a heartfelt closing remark urging persistence in studies, noting that achieving IAS status requires real effort and dedication beyond mere dreams.

Police investigations showed that Asha, residing in a rented place in Hiranagar, had been dealing with the mental strain from multiple unsuccessful attempts at the exam. Her relatives had no idea how severe her difficulties were until they could not reach her by phone, and they had planned to see her shortly afterward. In a comparable case in Varanasi that year, 28-year-old Prem Sharma, after five years of preparation and failing his second try, also ended his life. His note expressed regret to his mother for not meeting her expectations despite her support in his education and needs. Records from the authorities describe Prem as the youngest among five brothers and sisters, who had grown more reclusive over time, often staying alone in his space.

To understand these challenges better, The Probe reached out to Saurabh Abhishek, another UPSC aspirant who wrote his prelims this year. Saurabh completed his civil engineering degree from NIT Patna before turning his focus to the civil services exam. This year marked his final eligible attempt, but he did not clear the prelims exams, bringing an end to his efforts in this path.

Reflecting on the recent suicides, Saurabh notes, “It is especially painful when you realise how these young people might have contributed meaningfully to society in other ways if given the chance.” He described the UPSC process as one filled with prolonged uncertainty, where progress can feel elusive. "This has happened to me multiple times. Sometimes when you prepare for UPSC, there is no light at the end of the tunnel. While some UPSC aspirants benefit from family or friends as a source of encouragement, others face the process in isolation, which can intensify pressure to an unbearable level.”

Saurabh draws a comparison to the situation in Kota, where rising student suicides prompted government interventions, yet similar issues among UPSC candidates receive little attention or discussion.

UPSC Aspirants Battle Systemic Failures

It is understandable why many UPSC aspirants across India feel a growing sense of distress. The year 2025 has marked a critical shift for numerous candidates, pushing some to their limits amid a series of administrative lapses and disputes. These issues ranged from how the exams were carried out to the way results were announced, including concerns over irregularities in question patterns, clustering of roll numbers, and delays in addressing queries about evaluation. 

Reports also highlighted allegations of a paper leak just before the prelims, which added to suspicions of compromised integrity. 

Saurabh states that several aspirants, including himself, felt confident about advancing past the initial stage only to face unexpected setbacks. They discussed among peers what might have gone wrong, especially after seeing media coverage on potential breaches. "Then we saw these news stories that there was a paper leak then is it not imperative on the UPSC to make sure that they conduct an investigation. Even if such claims were unfounded, the commission should have acted against those spreading misinformation, or if true, openly addressed the matter. The lack of response has eroded trust in the entire framework, leaving candidates disheartened about the fairness of the process”. 

"My Friend Attempted Suicide"

Shilpi Choudhary, another aspirant who appeared for this year's preliminary exam but did not qualify, shared a personal account with The Probe. She recounted how a close friend, overwhelmed by the outcome, made an attempt on her life shortly after the results came out.

“I couldn’t make it,” Shilpi said. “My friend, who is much brighter than me, was 100 percent sure that she would make it, but then when she didn’t, she took a dangerous mix of tablets and went off to sleep. She was rescued in time. Today, in hindsight, she feels she shouldn’t have done that. She is going to a counselor now and undergoing therapy. But I must tell you, many UPSC aspirants are so fed up with the system that I will not be wrong if I say a large number of students are today mentally depressed and they need psychological help. It is not easy to process that the system is not functioning properly and then you as an aspirant have absolutely no recourse.”

Soon after the 2025 Prelims results came out, a pattern caught the attention of many candidates and led to widespread questions online. People pointed out that in various test locations, groups of three roll numbers in a row—usually belonging to those sitting together in the same area—had all qualified for the next round. This raised concerns about whether the process was truly random or if something else was at play.

Observations of this kind have added to the frustration felt by aspirants, making them question the reliability of the entire exam setup. It has led to higher levels of worry, with some deciding to step back from future attempts due to fears of hidden biases. In response, there have been requests for clearer explanations from the UPSC to rebuild faith in the merit-based system.

Shanta Kumari, an aspirant who has two more attempts ahead of her, spoke to The Probe about the ongoing issue of delayed answer keys from the UPSC. She highlighted how the commission typically waits long to share them, creating prolonged uncertainty for candidates who need to plan their next steps. "This delay affects us deeply because without the keys right after the prelims, we spend months guessing our scores," she said. It leads to wasted effort and added mental strain, as aspirants cannot address potential mistakes or seek clarifications when it matters most. 

In her view, the UPSC's reluctance to act on this stems from a lack of accountability that other exams avoid. "Why is the UPSC not releasing the answer keys promptly, even though a parliamentary committee suggested it back in March for better transparency? They could allow objections like in SSC exams, where keys come out within days and candidates get a fair chance to review. But here, we wait until the entire process ends, making the keys useless for any real help. It's frustrating because these are basic issues—publishing cut-offs, OMR sheets, or even addressing rumours of errors. The silence from the commission just builds more doubt, and without any way to fix simple problems, many of the UPSC aspirants feel stuck in a system that ignores our needs year after year."