A Delicate Balance

A Delicate Balance

My search for myself, which falls in the realm of spirituality, and learning to live, which may border on the physical and material part of life, are actually two sides of the same coin. Both paths, which seem separate, but are actually intertwining, lead to the same place when traversed with mindfulness, perseverance, courage and integrity.

The world exists, because I exist, so in a sense, I am the creator of my world. I choose everything I put in it, whether I admit it or not. Some things are there by conscious choice, some by the subconscious, yet others by the superconscious. These are all the same, but with filters / gatekeepers functioning as separators till our understanding evolves. 

There is no other life. There is just this life. There is no other world. Just the one you are in. There are no other gifts - learn to appreciate your own.

Life is a do-it-yourself project and you are the project. 

A spiritual life is taking complete responsibility for yourself and the effect of your energy, thoughts and actions, while an ordinary life is casually flirting, even interfering with everything external.

For example, if you love someone but cannot tell them, if you are dating someone, but cannot marry them because of family pressure, if you do not want to have an arranged marriage but end up complying, in all these situations, you are the central character and your whole marital status and wellbeing or lack of it, is played out as a consequence of your choice, because failing to make a choice is also a choice and you alone are responsible for it. Taking responsibility for your weakness or indecision, whatever the case may be, will allow you to face the situation and person with strength, joy and love, denial will bring frustration and rage - a fury meant for oneself, but conveniently directed at others. Relationships and circumstances only persist because of my desire, need, apathy, or non-understanding, others because of my lack of courage.

Life is a Delicate Balance

Every person or situation that comes my way, is helping me to live out my chosen destiny, pushing and prodding me towards my chosen destination. They are not separate from me, but mirrors reflecting the infinite range of emotions and energies that lie in the depths of my being. 

I do not despise the liar or the crook. Witnessing and sometimes, even suffering from their deeds, I learn to disassociate from those energies within myself. Liars teach me how futile lying is, Crooks teach me how despicable crookedness and thievery is, and this understanding helps me to select a better set of virtues for my use in my journey. Of course, there is a price to pay for both good and evil, but since I chose to pay the price for what I selected, I need to move forward with full ownership, rather than regret or self pity.

Some people love us, we do not love them back. We rarely fret over it. Some people do not love us, we crave their love and we fret - a whole lot - forgetting that we, too, have been on the other side. A case of non-understanding. Most people do not have any understanding of what they seek and why. 

If we want to be loved, we must understand what our own parameters of love are. Then we must embody those parameters to deserve that level of love. Nothing is free. It must be earned. Because if it is not earned, it is not received with gratitude and if it is not appreciated, its wasted. We waste love like we waste water - we get more than we need, but have scant value or respect.

Then there is envy, regret, guilt, shame, pride, stupidity, innocence, trust, betrayal, strength, weakness, anxiety, vanity, lust, greed, temptation, arrogance and a host of other emotions. Do not fear them. Face the mirror - they are all lessons, tools for self understanding and growth. Denial will pull you into the quicksand of negativity, courage will set you free from their grip. Life is a delicate balance.

Similarly, depression is not a negative condition. It is a condition - one that serves a purpose. Depression can yield the highest creativity. It can make an ordinary person an artist, poet, a genius, even lead man to God.

Those who fear difficult times, adverse circumstances should accept that nothing adverse has been created. Adversity is your perception of the situation. Adversity is opportunity in disguise. All you need is to keep still and see it for what it really is: A wholesome chance to convert your weaknesses into strengths.

If you are honest and comfortable with yourself and your life condition, that is a spiritual choice and you will find God helping you at every step to move ahead into higher frequencies and deeper understanding. But if you are pretentious, superficial, always lying, hiding, covering up, you are choosing to be ordinary - one among the masses - denying yourself help and making life as hard for those around you as for yourself. 

Another example of ordinariness is turning towards spirituality to shirk responsibilities and hard work. Well, that is not the spiritual path. It is the road to hell. Whatever it is you are avoiding, is waiting for you at the crossroads. You cannot avoid your lessons.

Then there are those who turn their spiritual groups into networking or recreational centers - pouring their entire materialistic mindset into a space meant to free you of it. Such people are better off at clubs and parties, doing what they do best - wasting a precious life on mindless entertainment.

Yet others, rather than practicing detachment, will clog the spiritual environment with their possessiveness - trying to dictate their terms, wanting importance from one and all, including their Guru. Luckily, a Self-realised spiritual master is way beyond such behavior, so they only end up harming themselves by stalling their own spiritual progress and making their journey arduous and painful. For genuine seekers, such people are a valuable demonstration of how destructive possessiveness is and how it is best to wipe all traces of it from one’s being.

Much like a game of snakes and ladders, every move either takes you up into a spiritual space or plunging down towards the ordinary multitudes.

Choosing the ordinary life is choosing to lose your balance in the middle of a precarious journey, choosing to fall off the tightrope. Choosing the spiritual life is about keeping steady despite all the storms, hurricanes and obstacles.

Those who faithfully pursue a spiritual path have experienced a voice arising from within: “I am nothing, I do nothing”. For the materialistic, this is depressing. For the spiritually inclined, it is empowering, for if you are nothing - with no identity - you can become anything that the moment requires. You are not bound, but limitless and all your actions are effortless, since they are executed without any doership.

In summary, a spiritually-oriented person goes about life with joy because he has learnt to forego heavy and troublesome burdens - like a false sense of identity cast in iron, behavior that is susceptible to changing emotions rather than to reason, possessiveness towards people and things that are not his in the first place, arrogance, lust, greed and anger - and learnt to exult in the gifts of the moment or the immediate present.

And for those who have tasted the fruits of steadfastly following the spiritual path - patience, love, steadfastness, joyfulness without any reason, the rapture of being constantly in divine communion - there is no going back, just a forward march into eternity…

You may write to Shalini Singh at [email protected] | You can also follow her on Substack: https://shalinisinghscribe.substack.com/

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